Dear Little One,
As I write this, I’m sitting in the makeup
aisle of our local Target store. A friend recently texted me from a different
makeup aisle and told me it felt like one of the most oppressive places in the
world. I wanted to find out what he meant. And now that I’m
sitting here, I’m beginning to agree with him. Words have power, and the words
on display in this aisle have a deep power. Words and phrases like: Affordably
gorgeous, Infallible, Flawless finish, Brilliant strength, Liquid power, Go
nude, Age defying, Instant age rewind, Choose your dream, Nearly naked, and Natural
beauty.
When you have a daughter you start to realize
she’s just as strong as everyone else in the house—a force to be reckoned with,
a soul on fire with the same life and gifts and passions as any man. But
sitting in this store aisle, you also begin to realize most people won’t see
her that way. They’ll see her as a pretty face and a body to enjoy. And they’ll
tell her she has to look a certain way to have any worth or influence.
But words do have power and maybe, just
maybe, the words of a father can begin to compete with the words of the world.
Maybe a father’s words can deliver his daughter through this gauntlet of
institutionalized shame and into a deep, unshakeable sense of her own
worthiness and beauty.
A father’s words aren’t different words, but
they are words with a radically different meaning:
Brilliant
strength: Your strength be not in your fingernails;
but in your heart. May you discern in your centre who you are, and then may you
fearfully but tenaciously live it out in the world.
Choose
your dream: But not from a department store
shelf. Find the still-quiet place within you. A real dream has been planted
there. Discover what you want to do in the world. And when you have chosen, may
you faithfully pursue it, with integrity and with hope.
Naked:
The world wants you to take your clothes off. Please keep them on. But take
your gloves off. Pull no punches. Say what is in your heart. Be vulnerable.
Embrace risk. Love a world that barely knows what it means to love itself. Do
so nakedly. Openly. With abandon.
Infallible:
May
you be constantly, infallibly aware that infallibility doesn’t exist. It’s an
illusion created by people interested in your wallet. If you choose to seek
perfection, may it be in an infallible grace—for yourself, and for everyone
around you.
Age
defying: Your skin will wrinkle and your youth will
fade, but your soul is ageless. It will always know how to play and how to
enjoy and how to revel in this one-chance life. May you always defiantly resist
the aging of your spirit.
Flawless
finish: Your finish has nothing to do with how your
face looks today and everything to do with how your life looks on your last
day. May your years be a preparation for that day. May you be aged by grace,
may you grow in wisdom, and may your love become big enough to embrace all
people. May your flawless finish be a peaceful embrace of the end and the
unknown that follows, and may it thus be a gift to everyone who cherishes you.
Little One, you love everything pink and
frilly and I will surely understand if someday makeup is important to you. But
I pray three words will remain more important to you—the last three words you
say every night, when I ask the question: “Where are you the most beautiful?”
Three words so bright no concealer can cover them.
Where are you the most beautiful? On the inside.
From my heart to yours,
Daddy
~~Dr. Kelly Flanagan
