MARK (SAMUEL LANGHORNE CLEMENS) TWAIN
- Always tell the truth; then you don't have to remember anything.
- When in doubt, tell the truth.
- In the United States of America, truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
- Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction after all, has to make sense.
- A good lie will have travelled half way around the world while the truth is putting on her boots.
- There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
- You take the lies out of him, and he'll shrink to the size of your hat; you take the malice out of him, and he'll disappear.
- I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
- Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, ... it doesn't matter.
- A powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words in a book or a newspaper the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt.
- The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
- Thunder is good, thunder is impressive, but it is lightning that does the work.
- When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.
- We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again, and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one any more.
- The jury system puts a ban upon intelligence and honesty and a premium upon ignorance, stupidity and perjury.
- We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any other in the world; and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding 12 everyday men who don't know anything and can't read.
- No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.
- Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
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