Politics, n: [Poly "many" + tics "blood-sucking parasites".
The CON-servatives are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Fib-erals are the party that says government doesn't work; and, then they get elected; and prove it.
Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamoured of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
A Con-servative is also a man or a woman who believes that nothing should be done for the first time. However, their very conservatism is secondhand, and they don't know what they are conserving
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