Will Rogers' Quotes

Will Rogers Quotes (1879 - 

1935)

1. The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
2. The one that's out always looks the best.
3. Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else.
4. You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.
5. Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
6. Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
7. Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
8. You know everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
9. I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
10. Politics is applesauce.
11. There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
12. This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
13. On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
14. I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
15. We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
16. An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.
17. Nothing you can't spell will ever work.
18. The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.
19. See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails?
20. Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate; now what's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House?
21. Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.
22. The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.
23. An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh.
24. Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
25. There ought to be one day-- just one-- when there is open season on senators.
26. Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.
27. I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.
28. Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is.
29. I was not a child prodigy, because a child prodigy is a child who knows as much when it is a child as it does when it grows up.
30. We don't know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it.
31. The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.

One of these days they are going to remove so much of the 'hooey' and the thousands of things the schools have become clogged up with, and we will find that we can educate our broods for about one-tenth of the price and learn 'em something that they might accidentally use after they escape
Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches. 
Will Rodgers
NOTHING YOU CAN'T SPELL WILL EVER WORK. 
Will Rodgers
You can have all the advanced war methods you want, but, after all, nobody has ever invented a war that you don't have to have somebody in the guise of soldiers to stop the bullets.

Will Rogers 

 So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
Will Rogers 

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.
Will Rogers 

The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the Republican Party the way it's been carrying on, then the rest of us ought to get it without even asking.
Will Rogers 

The best way out of a difficulty is through it.
Will Rogers 

The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal they have to live off each other, while the Republicans, why, they live off the Democrats.
Will Rogers 

The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.
Will Rogers 

The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can't make anybody believe that he has it.
Will Rogers 

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.
Will Rogers 

The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, "How is the president?"
Will Rogers 

The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.
Will Rogers 

The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
Will Rogers 

The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.
Will Rogers 

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.
Will Rogers 

The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.
Will Rogers 

The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.
Will Rogers 

The schools ain't what they used to be and never was.
Will Rogers 

The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got.
Will Rogers 

The United States never lost a war or won a conference.
Will Rogers 

The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you.
Will Rogers 

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
Will Rogers 
Now if there is one thing that we do worse than any other nation, it is try and manage somebody else's affairs. 
Will Rogers 


It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for. 
Will Rogers 

 Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it. 
Will Rogers


 I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do. 
Will Rogers 

I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times.
Will Rogers 

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
Will Rogers 

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
Will Rogers 

If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them.
Will Rogers 

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.
Will Rogers 

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
Will Rogers 

If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you sell cheaper than him, that's mass production.
Will Rogers 

If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.
Will Rogers 

If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.
Will Rogers 

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.
Will Rogers 

If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.
Will Rogers 

In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing.
Will Rogers 

In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time.
Will Rogers 

Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.
Will Rogers 

It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.

Will Rogers


It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.
Will Rogers 

It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
Will Rogers 

Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.
Will Rogers

difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.
Will Rogers 

A fool and his money are soon elected.
Will Rogers 

A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.
Will Rogers 

A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.
Will Rogers 

A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
Will Rogers 

About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.
Will Rogers 

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.
Will Rogers 

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.
Will Rogers 

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.
Will Rogers 

America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there.
Will Rogers 

America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.
Will Rogers 

An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.
Will Rogers 

An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.
Will Rogers 

An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
Will Rogers 

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?
Will Rogers 

Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do.
Will Rogers 

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
Will Rogers 

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.
Will Rogers 

Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.
Will Rogers 

Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction.

Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.
Will Rogers 

Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.
Will Rogers 

Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
Will Rogers 

Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week.
Will Rogers 

Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.
Will Rogers 

Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.
Will Rogers 

Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.
Will Rogers 

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
Will Rogers 

Even though you are on the right track - you will get run over if you just sit there.
Will Rogers 

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
Will Rogers 

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
Will Rogers 

Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
Will Rogers 

Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
Will Rogers 

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
Will Rogers 

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
Will Rogers 

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
Will Rogers 

I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him "father."
Will Rogers 

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
Will Rogers 

I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.
Will Rogers 

I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.
Will Rogers 

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.
Will Rogers 

Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.
Will Rogers 

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
Will Rogers 

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.
Will Rogers 

Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.
Will Rogers 

Never let yesterday use up too much of today.
Will Rogers 

Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.
Will Rogers 

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
Will Rogers 

One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials.
Will Rogers 

One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.
Will Rogers 

Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.
Will Rogers 

People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.
Will Rogers 

People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.
Will Rogers 

People's minds are changed through observation and not through argument.
Will Rogers 

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.
Will Rogers 

Politics is applesauce.
Will Rogers 

Prohibition is better than no liquor at all.
Will Rogers 

So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way.
Will Rogers 

Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggie" until you can find a rock.